Poetry

I knew poetry could be moving; I really did.  I've never been an extreme fan of poetry. In fact, I rather disliked it back in high school.  However, I know that there can be real meaning behind the words of a poem.

I may have just learned this first-hand from longhand.  I decided I wanted to write -- copy, rather -- Maya Angelou's "Still I Rise" poem.  It is, without question, my favorite poem of all time.  It's much longer than most people realize.  I got out an unlined piece of printer paper, took my pad of lined paper and set it underneath, and began to write.

"You may write me down in history 

with your bitter, twisted lies.

You may trod me in the very dirt,

but just like dust, I'll rise."

The very first stanza, complete with 26 words, ties words together in a formula that produces extreme results.  Without reading the rest of the poem, you still understand what is going on.

"Does my sassiness upset you? 

Why are you beset with gloom,

just 'cause I walk as if I have oil wells

pumping in my living room?

Just like suns and like moons,

with the certainty of tides,

just like hope springing high, 

still I'll rise."

These next two stanzas compliment each other.

Skipping ahead a bit, we reach my favorite stanza in the entire poem.

"You can shoot me with your words.

You can cut me with your lies.

You can kill me with your hatefulness,

but just like life, I'll rise!"

This stanza, to me, has some of the most powerful language in the entire poem.  What it says, to me, is that no matter what you try to do to me, no matter how much you bring me down, no matter how cruel you can be, I'll still rise.  I'll still be me and I'll still be the person I've always been and the person I'll always be.

As I was writing, I was learning.  I could hear the words spoken in my own head.  I had heard the words pass over my lips, through my teeth and over my tongue before, but never had I felt them through my hands and out of my fingertips.  As I reached the following stanza (I'll underline the particular line), I began to tear up.

"Out of the huts of history's shame,

I rise.

Up from a past rooted in pain,

I rise.

A black ocean leaping and wide,

welling and swelling, I bear in the tide."

Never before have I cried while I wrote something.  It was not a sad cry -- no, not at all.  It was more of crying because I thought of how powerful -- really powerful those words were.  Those words, as they flowed out of my hand, hit me.  Not like a high school bully punch, but like a freight train barreling down the tracks. As Maya herself says, words are things. They can get into your wallpaper, underneath your rugs and deep in your skin.  Be careful the words you use, and make sure they're the words you mean to use.

View of Self

I talk a lot in Pingüi's Caja about this idea that the you should be the main point in your life.  I say that no one can live your life but you.  So now I'm curious.  I know what I live MY life for; what do you live for?

Dr. Seuss

I would like to start off this post with a quote.

"Today you are you; that is truer than true. There's no one alive who is youer than you." -- Dr. Seuss

This quote represents the uniqueness that we all inherently have.  It's not an option to be unique.  No two people -- not even twins -- are exactly alike in every way.  I have quirks; there's no doubt about that.  I wouldn't be me without all of my quirks.  I'm loud; I'm goofy; I'm sarcastic; I'm a news-junkie; I've got a million and one quirks. So do you.  These tiny differences are what make the world such an amazing place.  If every animal were exactly the same, how boring would that be?  If every person had the same view and the same personality, would anyone be attracted to anyone else?  It's hard to find an argument that says yes to that question.

The art of humanity lies deep within each and every human being.  We all have unquestionable similarities: physical needs, physical construction, emotional needs, and many others.  These are all, however, part of a much larger view of humanity.  We all need air to breath, food to eat, water to drink, shelter to protect us, and someone else to entertain us.  The last in that list is possible the most important.  We can have all of the physical necessities of life, but without the emotional connection that we feel with others, many people would go insane -- myself included.  I use another quote, this one from my favorite musical artist. "If we weren't all crazy, we'd all go insane."  To me, in this quote, craziness is really quirkiness.  When you get past the broad view of humanity -- the larger necessities like air, food and water -- and you look down at the emotional needs and the little things that make each of us happy, you find vast differences.  Some people are happiest when writing or painting; some are happiest when solving puzzles; some are even happiest when sleeping.  Everyone, when it comes to the smaller things in likes different things.  Some love country music; some hate it.  Some love television dramas; others hate them. 

When it comes to differences like these, the petty and unimportant ones, it is important for each and every person to embrace themselves as who they really are, and acknowledge what they really like.  Not who others want them to be or what others want them to like.  If you love Gavin Degraw, love him.  If you love Taylor Swift, lover her.  If you love NCIS, love it.  Don't be afraid to admit to enjoying things just because they're not the norm.  I work at a radio station full of hipsters who dislike Nickelback.  I happen to like Nickelback; so what? 

I guess what I'm getting at here is that everyone needs to embrace who they really are.  If who they are isn't who they want to be, they're the only ones who can change it.  You're the only person who can be you. 

If you're not going to be you, who is?

What have you done today to make you feel proud?

This morning, as I sat in my room at FSU, Switchfoot's "This is your life" came onto my music player.  It made me think.  Who am I? Am I who I want to be? This is my life.  And the conclusion I came to is: Yes. I am who I want to be.  I am extremely proud of myself and what I have accomplished this far in my life.  I'm twenty-years-old and have many published articles in the college newspaper, many broadcast radio articles and I've got a great GPA.  Life has been great to me.  I've been in some ruts; I've been through some stuff I wouldn't wish on anyone, but overall I think that I've grown into a very strong individual. 

I'm proud to say that I'm me.  I'm not what someone else wants me to be; I am who I want me to be.  I expect no less from myself.  Who I am may be too brash, too outspoken, too loud for some people.  That doesn't bother me.  I've been told countless times how loud I am.  Every time I'm told as if it might come as a surprise.  Nope. I know it. I'm loud.  I've accepted it.  I've grown to love it.  My voice carries -- it's a gift, really.  I don't need a microphone.  I don't need a loud-speaker.  I have a voice that can project without any extra effort.  It's hard for me to be quiet.  This is a part of me.

I do things that make me feel proud about myself because that's all that really matters, isn't it?  When you learn to let go of what others think about you, you learn that the only person's whose approval and pride matters is your own.  My parents can tell me over and over again how proud they are of me, but it doesn't mean half as much as being able to say, "This is my work, and I'm proud of it."

This is your life. Are you who you want to be? I know I sure am.  I hope you are too.

Writing

The ability to write is not a genetic trait, nor is it something that just anyone can pick up.  That leaves it in a class all it's own. Who can write? And what does it mean to write something effectively?

Writing is something that comes deep from within the wrinkles and crevices of our brains.  Writing comes from the valves pumping blood through our hearts.  Writing comes from the acids in our stomachs and intestines.  Writing comes from within a person.  Writing comes from us physically and mentally.  There are synapses that are fired while writing, as there are synapses that are fired during every second of every day.  Why are the synapses from writing different?

For some people it's a feeling of euphoria, for others it's a feeling of despair.  For me, writing is almost second-nature.  Does that mean it's easy? Absolutely not.  There are times that I write and delete, rewrite and then redelete.  Other times I can sit down and just let my fingers type magical things into the computer's text box.  The most revealing pieces of writing are those that don't use the backspace key.  The stream of consciousness that forms on the paper (or in this case on the screen) can reveal some crazy things that exists between our ears.

How does one become an effective writer? Well, some say to read and read a lot.  "The more you read, the more good writing you'll read and the more you'll want to emulate that," some say.  I don't know how accurate that really is.  Sometimes it depends on how well formed your brain is, and how good of a grasp on the language you're writing in you have.  For example, if I wrote in Spanish (algo que puedo hacer), the stream would flow much differently than when I write in English.  The more immersed in a language you are, the more mastery of it you will acquire.

If in middle school someone had told me that I would eventually begin to enjoy writing, no, that I would begin to love writing, I would have told them that they were insane.  I'd have directed them to the nearest mental institution because they needed to check themselves in.  Here I am, more than six years after leaving middle school, loving writing.  I don't know what I would do if I couldn't write out my thoughts.  I may not have gotten involved with the newspaper.  I may not have decided to minor in journalism.  I might not have become a news junkie.  This isn't a case of the what-ifs.  This is self-reflection and thanking.  I am extremely thankful for every opportunity I have been given.  Some opportunities I found for myself; some were given to me on a silver platter.  I am thankful for all of them.  Most of the opportunities have been extremely rewarding opportunities.

Writing well means to write deep from within. I just let the words come out of my fingertips onto the page.  I'll reread them a few times, but usually -- when it comes to a blog -- I just let them sit as they've come out.